Friday, October 1, 2010 (Day 251)

I'm finally back on track. I've been back on track for almost 3 weeks now. I've almost lost the weight that I gained on my "break". I'm at 165. I think I'd be lower, but I've been hitting the weights pretty hard this week and I feel like my muscles are growing. I've found my motivation again. There have been TONS of temptations the last 2 weeks, but I haven't actually been tempted by any of them. Weird, huh? I got my little black dress out of the bag from the top of my closet. It's been there since March 2006. I am determined to wear it at this year's office Christmas party on December 10th. I think I was about 135 pounds when I wore it in 2006. I figured it out, and in order to be 135 by the party, I need to lose 3 pounds per week. Absolutely reachable, even if they do say not to lose more than 2 pounds per week. I don't know if I'll be able to do it with my last 30 pounds, but we'll see. Then I'll be at my goal. Finally! How amazing would it be to wear that dress again?!?! How amazing would it be to reach my goal by the end of the year?!?! I am determined and I can do it!!!

Monday, August 30, 2010 (Day 219)

So, I’ve been gone a while.  I could give a lot of excuses.  It started when my brother and his family came into town and we ate out a few times in a week.  Also because they were in town, I didn’t get to sleep on time and hence couldn’t wake up and exercise.  Add a holiday to the mix.  Then the next week was my birthday.  Then I just couldn’t get back on track.  So basically I ate anything and everything in sight for 4 weeks and didn’t exercise.  I gained 23 pounds. 

I had a doctor appointment on week 3.  She confirmed my suspicion that I am no longer in the diabetic or pre-diabetic range.  My blood sugar for the last three months is completely and totally normal.  YAY! Go me!  However, apparently she tested my thyroid.  Not good news.  Turns out I have hypothyroidism.  After learning this, and reading about the symptoms online, it explains A LOT about some things I’ve been going through.

First and foremost, why I am always fatigued and tired.  Second, why my hair is coming out.  Third, why Ray keeps asking why I’m so grumpy.  Four, why it’s hard to lose weight.  She prescribed me Levothyroxine.  It says to give it about 4 weeks to see the effects.  I think it’s doing a little something, as I’m not QUITE as fatigued.  My hair is still falling out, which is pretty distressing.

But, since last Monday, I’ve been doing my exercising and eating right again.  I feel so much better.  I don’t know why I let myself do so bad.  I’m down 10 of the 23 pounds I put on.  It’s a bummer that all my hard work goes down the drain so fast.  The most awesome thing though, is that Ray is dieting with me now.  He also went to the doctor the day I did.  He is officially diabetic and has sleep apnea.  FINALLY, he’s determined to lose weight.  It’s been fun trying new healthy recipes and ingredients.  It’s so much easier for me to do this when I’m not cooking myself different food for dinner than the rest of the family.  And I unfroze our gym memberships today too.  This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Willpower

Boston Cream Pie.  Red Velvet Cake.  Apple Pie.  7 Layer Dip with Chips.  Pineapple Upside Down Cake.  Chocolate Cake.  What do all of these things have in common?  They’re all in the office refrigerator waiting for the 3:00 monthly birthday party to begin.  That’s right folks.  I’m subjected to this kind of crap every single month.  Not to mention all the other things I’m subjected to weekly.  Tortilla chips and dip (any kind) are my major weakness.  But that red velvet cake and the pineapple cake look insanely delicious!  And when I opened the fridge to get out my Slim Fast, I could smell the Boston cream pie, and it was amazing.  I want to give in.  But I really don’t.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, right?  In fact, just today a female attorney expressed her awe at my weight loss and how good I look.  That is definitely a motivation builder.  Up to this point, they have always had a veggie tray at the monthly party.  Today, no veggie tray in sight.  So I’m not even going to go into the party.  And I’m going to fill up my water in the kitchen now so I won’t have to go in there for anything after the party (the kitchen is where they put all the leftovers).  I can do this!  I really, really can!  I’m holding out to splurge again until my birthday.  And today is NOT my birthday!

Monday, July 19, 2010 (Day 177)

I’m feeling good.  I’m down to 165.  However, we went to a family reunion Saturday.  I was planning to eat well, but they had some of my favorite things there.  I had to eat the spaghetti noodle pasta salad.  I didn’t feel bad about it.  But they also had dutch oven beef and potatoes.  Had to have some of that!  Then Chris didn’t finish all his food, and I couldn’t let the funeral potatoes go to waste, so I ate them.  And is left over ham.  And seconds of the yummy green salad with almonds and cranberries.  And the apples and peaches in pudding.  All so good!  Still didn’t feel bad about it.  I hadn’t eaten breakfast and I was just gonna have Slim-Fast for dinner.  So really I wouldn’t have been too far out of my calorie range.  But then I went to a wedding reception.  Completely planning to not eat anything.  But when I saw the cookies!!!! I about died.  My favorite thing in the whole wide world is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  And peanut butter cookies.  They had peanut butter cookies with peanut butter cups stuck in the middle!  Had to have 2 of those.  Plus yummy sugar cookies, had to have one.  Then I had to go back for seconds and get a peanut butter cookie with Hershey’s kiss in the middle.  And a chocolate cookie with powdered sugar all over it.  Then, Angela didn’t finish her cookies. So I did.  YUM!!!  Then I went home and was lonely ‘cause everyone was asleep and I wasn’t tired.  So I sat and ate from the 2 gallon container of cheese balls Ray bought a few weeks ago.  I went to bed thinking I’d just throw in the towel on the whole weekend and eat pancakes for breakfast Sunday, and hot dogs for lunch, and chips and salsa (I would have eaten them Saturday night except my stomach was gonna explode).  I woke up Sunday with a different attitude and stuck with my diet.  Felt great to do good.  Weighed in this morning at 165, so Saturday didn’t completely kill my diet.  I’m glad about that.  If I’d have eaten yucky yesterday, I would have gone to lunch with my friend Lani today and eaten bad.  Then Wednesday is the monthly firm birthday party – I would have eaten badly then.  All in all, I’m SO happy to report Saturday didn’t turn into a week of binging!  I’ve already reached my second or third goal for my 31^st birthday.  So now I think I’ll move my weight goal to 160 by my birthday (2.5 weeks).  And if I hit 160 before then, I’ll move it again.  J  I feel really good about how things are going.  I just wish I was there already.  And by “there” I mean, weighing 135.

Friday, July 16, 2010 (Day 174) - I'M NOT OBESE!!!

After forever, I’m FINALLY not obese!  This is going off the Body Mass Index chart.  I officially hit 166 pounds, which puts me in the “overweight” category now.  I need to be 140 to get in the “normal” range.  I’m glad the overweight range is small.  I can hit 140 soon – I hope!  I’m so excited to hit this milestone!  Go me!

Tag

I took the kids to the park last night.  While we were there, Cayden wanted to play tag.  As I was running around chasing them and running away from them, I thought about the fact that I would never have been able to do that just a few months ago.  I was climbing up the park equipment, sliding down the slides, etc.  It was great to be able to give them a fun and energetic mom!  Even though they still run faster than me. J  It was a good break from the typical exercising.  I’m a bit perturbed that the scale isn’t moving.  It’s saying 167.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  I’ve still managed to stay on track since Sunday, even though I usually go off track when the scale is being mean.  We’ll see what it looks like in a few days, this coming Sunday.  Whatever it says, I’m thrilled with the way I look and the energy I have!

Monday, July 12, 2010 (Day 170)

The scale read 169 yesterday morning.  That’s crap.  I didn’t gain a pound last week.  I should be at 165.  I haven’t had a bowel movement in about 4 days, so that’s probably why.  But, I guess it still bothered me subconsciously because I ate everything except the kitchen sink last night.  Homemade ice cream (2 cups), cheese balls, fruit snacks, popcorn … That’s it?  Wow, it sure seemed like I ate more than that!  I was able to lay off the chips and salsa (because, even though my brain wanted it, I knew my stomach would explode if I ate any more).  Oh, and I ate one of each flavor of tootsie roll.  I was telling myself that my body thought I was starving and I needed to show it otherwise.  Maybe true, maybe not.  Who knows!  All I know is that I’ve eaten under 1200 calories every day last week and I’ve worked out longer than I ever have every day last week.  So for the scale to be up a pound pissed me off, big time!  It better fix itself before I fall off the wagon!