Friday, October 1, 2010 (Day 251)

I'm finally back on track. I've been back on track for almost 3 weeks now. I've almost lost the weight that I gained on my "break". I'm at 165. I think I'd be lower, but I've been hitting the weights pretty hard this week and I feel like my muscles are growing. I've found my motivation again. There have been TONS of temptations the last 2 weeks, but I haven't actually been tempted by any of them. Weird, huh? I got my little black dress out of the bag from the top of my closet. It's been there since March 2006. I am determined to wear it at this year's office Christmas party on December 10th. I think I was about 135 pounds when I wore it in 2006. I figured it out, and in order to be 135 by the party, I need to lose 3 pounds per week. Absolutely reachable, even if they do say not to lose more than 2 pounds per week. I don't know if I'll be able to do it with my last 30 pounds, but we'll see. Then I'll be at my goal. Finally! How amazing would it be to wear that dress again?!?! How amazing would it be to reach my goal by the end of the year?!?! I am determined and I can do it!!!

Monday, August 30, 2010 (Day 219)

So, I’ve been gone a while.  I could give a lot of excuses.  It started when my brother and his family came into town and we ate out a few times in a week.  Also because they were in town, I didn’t get to sleep on time and hence couldn’t wake up and exercise.  Add a holiday to the mix.  Then the next week was my birthday.  Then I just couldn’t get back on track.  So basically I ate anything and everything in sight for 4 weeks and didn’t exercise.  I gained 23 pounds. 

I had a doctor appointment on week 3.  She confirmed my suspicion that I am no longer in the diabetic or pre-diabetic range.  My blood sugar for the last three months is completely and totally normal.  YAY! Go me!  However, apparently she tested my thyroid.  Not good news.  Turns out I have hypothyroidism.  After learning this, and reading about the symptoms online, it explains A LOT about some things I’ve been going through.

First and foremost, why I am always fatigued and tired.  Second, why my hair is coming out.  Third, why Ray keeps asking why I’m so grumpy.  Four, why it’s hard to lose weight.  She prescribed me Levothyroxine.  It says to give it about 4 weeks to see the effects.  I think it’s doing a little something, as I’m not QUITE as fatigued.  My hair is still falling out, which is pretty distressing.

But, since last Monday, I’ve been doing my exercising and eating right again.  I feel so much better.  I don’t know why I let myself do so bad.  I’m down 10 of the 23 pounds I put on.  It’s a bummer that all my hard work goes down the drain so fast.  The most awesome thing though, is that Ray is dieting with me now.  He also went to the doctor the day I did.  He is officially diabetic and has sleep apnea.  FINALLY, he’s determined to lose weight.  It’s been fun trying new healthy recipes and ingredients.  It’s so much easier for me to do this when I’m not cooking myself different food for dinner than the rest of the family.  And I unfroze our gym memberships today too.  This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

Willpower

Boston Cream Pie.  Red Velvet Cake.  Apple Pie.  7 Layer Dip with Chips.  Pineapple Upside Down Cake.  Chocolate Cake.  What do all of these things have in common?  They’re all in the office refrigerator waiting for the 3:00 monthly birthday party to begin.  That’s right folks.  I’m subjected to this kind of crap every single month.  Not to mention all the other things I’m subjected to weekly.  Tortilla chips and dip (any kind) are my major weakness.  But that red velvet cake and the pineapple cake look insanely delicious!  And when I opened the fridge to get out my Slim Fast, I could smell the Boston cream pie, and it was amazing.  I want to give in.  But I really don’t.  Nothing tastes as good as thin feels, right?  In fact, just today a female attorney expressed her awe at my weight loss and how good I look.  That is definitely a motivation builder.  Up to this point, they have always had a veggie tray at the monthly party.  Today, no veggie tray in sight.  So I’m not even going to go into the party.  And I’m going to fill up my water in the kitchen now so I won’t have to go in there for anything after the party (the kitchen is where they put all the leftovers).  I can do this!  I really, really can!  I’m holding out to splurge again until my birthday.  And today is NOT my birthday!

Monday, July 19, 2010 (Day 177)

I’m feeling good.  I’m down to 165.  However, we went to a family reunion Saturday.  I was planning to eat well, but they had some of my favorite things there.  I had to eat the spaghetti noodle pasta salad.  I didn’t feel bad about it.  But they also had dutch oven beef and potatoes.  Had to have some of that!  Then Chris didn’t finish all his food, and I couldn’t let the funeral potatoes go to waste, so I ate them.  And is left over ham.  And seconds of the yummy green salad with almonds and cranberries.  And the apples and peaches in pudding.  All so good!  Still didn’t feel bad about it.  I hadn’t eaten breakfast and I was just gonna have Slim-Fast for dinner.  So really I wouldn’t have been too far out of my calorie range.  But then I went to a wedding reception.  Completely planning to not eat anything.  But when I saw the cookies!!!! I about died.  My favorite thing in the whole wide world is Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.  And peanut butter cookies.  They had peanut butter cookies with peanut butter cups stuck in the middle!  Had to have 2 of those.  Plus yummy sugar cookies, had to have one.  Then I had to go back for seconds and get a peanut butter cookie with Hershey’s kiss in the middle.  And a chocolate cookie with powdered sugar all over it.  Then, Angela didn’t finish her cookies. So I did.  YUM!!!  Then I went home and was lonely ‘cause everyone was asleep and I wasn’t tired.  So I sat and ate from the 2 gallon container of cheese balls Ray bought a few weeks ago.  I went to bed thinking I’d just throw in the towel on the whole weekend and eat pancakes for breakfast Sunday, and hot dogs for lunch, and chips and salsa (I would have eaten them Saturday night except my stomach was gonna explode).  I woke up Sunday with a different attitude and stuck with my diet.  Felt great to do good.  Weighed in this morning at 165, so Saturday didn’t completely kill my diet.  I’m glad about that.  If I’d have eaten yucky yesterday, I would have gone to lunch with my friend Lani today and eaten bad.  Then Wednesday is the monthly firm birthday party – I would have eaten badly then.  All in all, I’m SO happy to report Saturday didn’t turn into a week of binging!  I’ve already reached my second or third goal for my 31^st birthday.  So now I think I’ll move my weight goal to 160 by my birthday (2.5 weeks).  And if I hit 160 before then, I’ll move it again.  J  I feel really good about how things are going.  I just wish I was there already.  And by “there” I mean, weighing 135.

Friday, July 16, 2010 (Day 174) - I'M NOT OBESE!!!

After forever, I’m FINALLY not obese!  This is going off the Body Mass Index chart.  I officially hit 166 pounds, which puts me in the “overweight” category now.  I need to be 140 to get in the “normal” range.  I’m glad the overweight range is small.  I can hit 140 soon – I hope!  I’m so excited to hit this milestone!  Go me!

Tag

I took the kids to the park last night.  While we were there, Cayden wanted to play tag.  As I was running around chasing them and running away from them, I thought about the fact that I would never have been able to do that just a few months ago.  I was climbing up the park equipment, sliding down the slides, etc.  It was great to be able to give them a fun and energetic mom!  Even though they still run faster than me. J  It was a good break from the typical exercising.  I’m a bit perturbed that the scale isn’t moving.  It’s saying 167.  I don’t know how I feel about it.  I’ve still managed to stay on track since Sunday, even though I usually go off track when the scale is being mean.  We’ll see what it looks like in a few days, this coming Sunday.  Whatever it says, I’m thrilled with the way I look and the energy I have!

Monday, July 12, 2010 (Day 170)

The scale read 169 yesterday morning.  That’s crap.  I didn’t gain a pound last week.  I should be at 165.  I haven’t had a bowel movement in about 4 days, so that’s probably why.  But, I guess it still bothered me subconsciously because I ate everything except the kitchen sink last night.  Homemade ice cream (2 cups), cheese balls, fruit snacks, popcorn … That’s it?  Wow, it sure seemed like I ate more than that!  I was able to lay off the chips and salsa (because, even though my brain wanted it, I knew my stomach would explode if I ate any more).  Oh, and I ate one of each flavor of tootsie roll.  I was telling myself that my body thought I was starving and I needed to show it otherwise.  Maybe true, maybe not.  Who knows!  All I know is that I’ve eaten under 1200 calories every day last week and I’ve worked out longer than I ever have every day last week.  So for the scale to be up a pound pissed me off, big time!  It better fix itself before I fall off the wagon!

 

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 (Day 165)

So, despite being in a really good mood yesterday morning and despite how motivated I was yesterday morning, I had a rough evening.  Ray made bbq chicken.  I made corn on the cob and mac & cheese.  I was actually REALLY good.  I had a piece of chicken and two corns on the cob.  I didn’t even take one tiny bite of the mac (it has 270 calories in one cup!).  I was feeling good about myself.  But , I wasn’t satisfied at ALL.  Even though my stomach was full.  I was SO tempted to eat all the mac in the pan, but I DIDN’T.  But I did get a bag of my diet popcorn out and make it.  Ate the whole thing – 240 calories.  Still feeling fine about my day because I was still within my calorie limit.  Then I had a diet popsicle – 10 calories.  Still feeling good about myself because I was still within my calories.  But STILL not satisfied.  I went to get in bed and Cayden’s salt and vinegar Pringles were sitting there right by my alarm clock.  I broke, after all the willpower I had with the other stuff (did I mention Ray was eating caramel popcorn and it smelled SO good!  BUT, I only ate 4 of the Pringles – about 40 calories.  So, really I did AWESOME yesterday considering how bad I wanted to eat everything, and a lot of it.

I didn’t realize what the problem was last night, but this afternoon when my period started, last night made sense.  I’m SO happy that I didn’t cave!  I feel really good about myself for getting through the night.  I could have easily eaten ALL of Cayden’s chips.  Oh, did I mention Ray brought home a HUGE barrel of cheese balls (like cheetos, but round)?  I’ve been able to avoid them – which was nearly impossible last night.

And I did my hour on the treadmill this morning too.  Go me!

Tuesday, July 6, 2010 (Day 164)

Feeling awesome today!  Finally!  I’m down to 168.  I was able to eat super well all 4^th of July weekend.  And exercise!  In fact, I did 90 minutes each day instead of 60.  I was going to wear a shirt this morning, but it was totally falling off me.  It looked like I was a little kid trying to wear my dad’s clothes or something.  While that was a pain to take off and find something else, I was thrilled with it. Time to throw it in the D.I. bag.  I’ve found it REALLY hard to get 10,000 steps on the pedometer!  It’s okay if I walk on the treadmill for an hour (because that gives me nearly 8,000 already).  But if I do Gilad, or mow the grass, or anything else for exercise, it doesn’t do well.  And, besides my hour of exercise, I realize I don’t walk hardly at all!  I would have guessed I walk a lot, with all the housework and stuff.  Not so!  It’s been an eye opener, for sure.  I hope I don’t get obsessed with the whole how-many-steps-have-I-taken thing.  I brought my walking shoes to work so I can go out at lunch.  That will be in addition to my morning treadmill or other exercise.  Did I mention I feel awesome!  I’m 8 pounds away from my goal of 160 by my birthday.  Then I’ll be 25 pounds away from the ULTIMATE goal of 135!  Insane!!! 

P.S. – I also tried a couple diet frozen meals and I LOVE them.  Terriyaki chicken (Smart Ones, I think) and Jumbo [some kind of pasta] with Meatballs (Lean Cuisine, I think).  They are great!!!  I pair them with some peas or corn.  I also had a Smart Ones Mexican dish, and it was great paired with some extra black beans.  Yummo!

 

Pedometer Information

I bought the pedometers for work last night.  I did the treadmill for an hour and 15 minutes.  One full hour on the treadmill was about 8,000 steps.  The treadmill showed 4.5 miles and the pedometer showed 4.08 miles.  Close enough.  Neither are calibrated to the length of my stride anyway.  I did exercise this morning, but I did Gilad, so I didn’t wear the pedometer.  From the time I got completely dressed and put on the pedometer (all I’ve done after that is walk around the house grabbing my purse, walking from the car to train, from train to work, etc.), I’ve gone 1147 steps.  That’s cool!  I’m impressed that it doesn’t count the bumps while in the car or on the train.  It really does just count steps.  And I’m confident it’s getting all my steps.  I’m excited for this.  I know they “want” you to get 10,000 steps per day.  And one of the girls here at work said her friend is doing this at their work and the highest is 18,000 steps per day.  It’ll be fun to see how many we can take!  I’m glad I’ve finally got something that’s excited me about the whole exercise thing and diet too.  Wahoo!

 

Pedometer Challenge

A small group of us girls at work are starting a challenge.  We’re buying pedometers (all the same) and beginning next week we’re going to wear them and have a challenge as to who can take the most steps.  It should be a cool and fun way to keep us all motivated.  There’s only one girl in the group bigger than I am, the rest are all at a good weight, but want to lose like 5 pounds and be in better shape.  That’s cool though.  The other girl (I don’t know why I say “girl” when we’re all 30-40 years old) used to weigh about 300 pounds.  She lost about 170 over a couple years.  She got married though, and now she’s gaining it back.  I think she’s on hormones and stuff to get pregnant, and I know that will put weight on you also.  Don’t know why I even brought that up.  I’m buying the pedometers tonight and maybe I’ll tell everyone to start Saturday morning so our 4^th of July activities can count.

 

Wednesday, June 30, 2010 (Day 158)

I’ve had a rough time lately.  This seems to be a common theme.  I took last week off my diet.  Same old, same old, ate everything in sight.  I weighed in Sunday at 182 (gained 10 pounds last week).  I felt worse than when I went on vacation and did the same thing because I wasn’t planning on last week being a free week.  But we had Fathers Day Sunday, then BBQ with Lance, Lacie, Lonny and Amy Wednesday, then rodeo Thursday, parade Friday.  I could have done okay with those things – but I didn’t.  It’s Wednesday and I’m back down to 174.  So I’m only up 2 pounds from 10 days ago.  But still, I could have been below 170 by now.  And I’m worried because this coming weekend is the 4^th of July.  Then later this month is the 24^th of July.  I don’t know what’s going to happen.  There is just over 5 weeks until my 31^st birthday.  I’d love to lose as much as I can before then.  Just because.  I’ve way outreached my goal for my birthday, but that was set 5 months ago.  Losing a healthy 2 pounds per week, I should be down to 160 by my birthday.  That would be cool.  That’s gonna be my new goal.  And that will hopefully motivate me to eat right and exercise during these July holidays.  I didn’t exercise all last week because we were playing every night and I just couldn’t wake up in the mornings.  I did exercise Monday and Tuesday, but I didn’t wake up this morning.  I’m feeling bad about it, but there’s always tonight.  I hope I have the motivation when I get home from work.  160, I can do it!  Then I’ll only be 25 pounds away from my ultimate goal!  That’s insane!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010 (Day 150 - 5 MONTHS)

It’s been 5 months since I started this whole thing.  I can’t believe it!  It doesn’t seem like it’s been that long!  And, in a way, it seems like it’s been longer.  I’m having a rough time this week.  It started on Sunday, which was Father’s Day.  I expected to eat well.  But I didn’t.  I wasn’t hard on myself because the only “bad” thing I ate was mac and cheese.  And I only had one serving.  But then we got home.  The kids had donuts.  They looked REALLY good.  So I ate one.  And a left-over half of Cayden’s.  I drank a Pepsi.  Not too bad, but I wasn’t happy about it.  I was filling in for SOMETHING, because I just wasn’t satisfied.  Then I realized what sounded good was tortillas with cheese and salsa.  So I made me a couple (on the huge tortillas).  Went to bed feeling bad about myself.  Woke up Monday, not in time to exercise.  Stuck to the plan during the day, but went crazy at dinner.  Ate another of the donuts.  Ate 4 of the mini cupcakes the kids also had (wish Ray would stop buying the kids all this crap!).  Ate a couple fried chicken tenders the kids didn’t eat, dipped in honey mustard sauce.  Along with my rotisserie chicken, also dipped in honey mustard sauce.  Wanted Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, but Ray was at the store with me and wouldn’t let me.  I hid to eat the fried chicken and the donut and cupcakes.  Today is Tenant Appreciation Day in our building.  They give out free crap.  This time it’s ice cream.  I’m glad I’m not too into ice cream.  I think I’m lacking self control because I know I have a dinner party tomorrow.  If I’m going to have a party Sunday and Wednesday, why bother being good in between?  But I’m trying to be on track today.  Didn’t exercise again this morning.  I’ll be cleaning the house tonight.  Hopefully I’ll be able to get up and exercise Wednesday morning.  But I completely plan to eat unhealthy at my dinner party.  Onion rings.  BBQ beef and pork.  Baked beans with bacon.  Butter on my corn on the cob.  And I’m also going to eat the Éclair dessert that I didn’t eat last time I made it.  I feel like I’ve gained 20 pounds in the last 2 days.  I’m going to try not to weigh again until next Sunday.  Then I’ll see what the true damage is for the week.

 

Thursday, June 17, 2010 (Day 145)

I feel good today.  I feel great as far as the way I look.  But, as I mentioned, I’ve been sick.  It never got really bad, just a nagging yucky feeling.   I have coughing fits.  They seem to strike the hardest when I exercise and when I lay down.  And when I’m on the bus/train.  So, basically at the worst times.  I didn’t sleep well last night because of the coughing, so I wasn’t able to wake up this morning to exercise.  I wanted to do The Biggest Loser.  I might take the kids to the park tonight and walk/jog there.  Or maybe I’ll do The Biggest Loser.  I just don’t feel like doing any exercise, but I can’t bring myself to take a day off.  I’m stuck at 173, but I feel constipated.  I don’t know why because I’ve been taking in plenty of fiber and plenty, plenty of water.  So who knows.  Maybe still the sodium from Saturday, and I also had Costa Vida Tuesday.  Even though I ate healthy at Costa Vida, it still could have been loaded with sodium (black beans and chicken – don’t know how they seasoned the chicken).  So I’m not worried.  I had Subway last night and it really hit the spot.  It’s been a while.  I’ve also been way under my calories this week, so I think it was good to hit 1200 yesterday (with healthy food, not junk).  I’m wearing a new skirt (size 16) and a new blouse today – I think that’s what’s keeping me happy.  I’m really glad I posted the before and semi-after pictures side by side too.  That REALLY boosted me! 

 

Before and (Semi) After

Since trying on clothes Saturday, I've been a little bummed at how not-smaller I am. I went back and looked at my before pictures. I'm proud! Sure, I have more to go. But, who cares! I'm doing it baby! I know my pictures are posted here on the side, but they aren't side to side comparisons. So, here they are side to side - it's more dramatic! :)

Monday, June 14, 2010 (Day 142)

I’m not sure how I feel today.  I’m wearing skinny clothes, so I feel good.  But, I went clothes shopping on Saturday and everything I took into the dressing room was way too small.  So I’m not nearly as small as I think I am.  That was a bummer.  I allowed myself to eat what I wanted on Saturday too.  It was Connor’s birthday party.  I actually didn’t eat anything all day and the party was at 3:00.  They had healthy options that I was happy about.  But, I didn’t only stick to the fruits and veggies (that were both really good)!  I enjoyed a bratwurst and pasta salad.  And seconds of the pasta salad.  It was GOOD!  And potato chips and onion dip (which I brought to the party solely to get it out of my house so I wouldn’t eat it).  Lol.  That wasn’t bad.  I didn’t feel bad at all about eating those things.  But then I went home and ate a whole pack of graham crackers, some with chocolate frosting (it would have all been with frosting if we had vanilla).  Then I had a full bag of non-diet popcorn (extra butter).  And the kids shared their Sour Patch Kids with me (my favorite!).  I did bad because I started bad on Friday night.  Instead of just eating the stew that I planned to eat with the family (I decided not to because it had WAY too much sodium, and I needed to get rid of my grilled chicken), I had a salad with chicken on top.  That didn’t satisfy me at all.  So I ate a pack of graham crackers trying to find satisfaction.  Then a bag of popcorn (diet kind).  Oh, I also had a couple sodas on Saturday.  The scale is showing 175 today.  I assume that some of that is water weight from the sodium (popcorn, bratwurst, potato chips).  I did my Walk at Home video on Sunday.  Actually, I did it twice.  So I did 2 hours of good exercise yesterday.  I ate healthy.  I am sick.  I have a cold.  I couldn’t exercise this morning.  But I do plan to when I get home.  I went to bed at 8:30 last night so I’d get plenty of sleep and wake up and exercise.  But I woke up at 1:45 in the morning and couldn’t fall back asleep for the life of me.  It was after 3:30 before I finally fell back to sleep.  5:00 came and I couldn’t get up.  So I don’t know. 

Thursday, June 10, 2010 (Day 138)

I feel great today!  I got on the scale and I’m at 172.  I did 1.5 hours of Gilad yesterday morning.  I went to bed too late last night and couldn’t get up this morning.  So I’ll be doing the treadmill tonight.  I feel great about this week because, not only did I finally hit (and smash) 175, but we had a baby shower for a girl at work.  All sorts of yummy food – including my éclair dessert – and I stuck to my guns, ate the salad with light dressing, and fruit.  I’m so proud of myself!  172!  I’m in size 16 clothes now, too.  That means, no more X’s!!!   I’m in medium/large shirts, and 16 bottoms.  I’m thrilled!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010 (Day 136)

FINALLY!  I FINALLY got to, and under, 175!  That means I get to take my 50 pounds lost pictures tonight.  I’m really excited!   I’ve been waiting for this number for 4 weeks now!  It feels like a giant hurdle that I finally made it over.  That means I’ve lost 51 pounds.  39 more to go.  40 sounded like a lot, but 39 doesn’t seem bad at all.  While walking outside this morning I was thinking that it’s 20 pounds, twice.  That’s easy!  20 pounds is nothing!  Once I lose 19 pounds, I’ll only have a total of 20 more to go!  That’s insane!  I never thought I’d be this close.  Well, I mean, I thought I would, but I didn’t imagine it.  You know?  I’ve always known (and still do) that I’ll reach my goal of being 135.  It’s just that I never could picture actually being at that point, or being at this point.  I’m thrilled and I can’t wait to hit 170 next.

 

Monday, June 7, 2010 (Day 135)

My body is just refusing to hit 175.  I can’t figure it out!  It was refusing before vacation.  Now, since vacation, I dropped weight quickly and suddenly it stopped at 176 again.  I shouldn’t be too upset since it’s only been stuck 2 days, and not a week, like before vacation.  But this is bothering me!  What the crap!  I did good all weekend, exercised great and ate great.  I’ll do things right this week and see what happens.  I’m bummed because I wanted to eat treats this weekend.  And I didn’t.  Now I feel like I might as well have.  But I should know better.  At least I didn’t gain – which is what would happen if I eat treats.  I should be proud of myself and my body for exercising and feeling good.  But I want numbers dang it!  Maybe tomorrow morning. 

Friday, June 4, 2010 (Day 132)

Well, I’m back down to 178.  That’s the last weight I was at my official weigh-ins before vacation.  I got down to 176, but not on my Sunday weigh-in.  So I’m going to consider myself caught up.  I’m pleased that the weight is just dropping off this week.  I knew taking a week break would be good to get over my plateau.  I think 175 is actually well within reach now that my body is confused.  Did the treadmill Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  This morning I did The Biggest Loser workout.  I’m glad I can still do it.  I thought I would have lost strength for not exercising for 10 days, but I seem to be okay.  I’ve been able to rock the treadmill at 3.8 mph.  I felt like I could have run, but I don’t want to.  I don’t want to injure my joints.  It’s just as good of a workout walking, I’m trying to convince myself I don’t need to run.  So I’m happy with this week’s workouts!  And my willpower this week!  We still have leftover desserts, chips, potato salad, everything from the weekend that I would LOVE to eat.  Oh, including my 2 king size Reese’s peanut butter cup packs (8 large cups).  I’m doing good though and not eating them.  Not even tempted because the scale is being so good to me!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010 (Day 129)

I’m back from vacation!  10 days of not exercising, eating everything in sight, and not giving a crap.  It felt great!  I’m 184 now.  That’s a gain of 8 pounds.  And I’m happy with that!  I know I’ll drop that really quickly!  I was expecting 10 to 15 pounds!  I woke up and did the treadmill this morning for a little over an hour.  It was a nice break, but I’m glad to be back on track.  I feel bloated and yucky.  I can’t wait for my body to be back on track.  And maybe next week I’ll finally hit the 175 mark that’s been evading me!

Friday, May 21, 2010 (Day 118)

As you know, I’m on vacation next week.  But, heck, my mind and body think they’re on vacation already when it comes to diet and exercise.  I did good yesterday.  Although I didn’t exercise, I did mow the grass.  That’s about an hour and a half of light exercise.  At least walking, if nothing else.  A tiny bit of sweat.  At least it wasn’t laying on the couch.  I ate well.  Had grilled chicken salad for dinner.  Ray and the kids were eating candy all night.  I was tempted.  So I made me a bag of my Smart Pop kettle corn.  Ate it all.  Didn’t feel too bad about it.  Fell asleep on the couch.  Woke up around midnight and went to get in bed.  Saw candy.  Ate candy.  Finished off Cayden’s nerds.  Ate a bunch of Chris’s Good ‘n’ Plenties.  Ate 6 of Ray’s caramels filled with cream.  They were all so good!  I figured it up this morning and I think I ate about 700 calories of pure sugar at midnight.  And, of course, because I was up eating candy and watching television at midnight, instead of sleeping, I didn’t wake up and exercise this morning.  I weighed in this morning at 176.  At this rate, I’m never going to make my 175 before vacation.  Maybe I’ll get some exercising in tonight.  I was actually doing good before I fell asleep on the couch because Ray had bought the kids a dozen donuts.  Sugar covered.  Chocolate covered.  Glazed.  I wanted one (or two or three) SO bad.  But I didn’t have one.  Arg.  I have a lot of cleaning to do tonight to get ready for vacation.  I guess tomorrow, while Ray and the kids are still asleep, I can do 1.5 hours of Gilad.  That would do good.  After last night though, I’m ready to eat anything I want today for lunch and dinner.  I’m going to try not to though.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010 (Day 115)

Weighed in at 176 this morning!  I think I weighed that sometime last week too, before the whole period and eating like crap Friday and Saturday came along.  I hope I drop a lot this week.  At least to or below 175 so I can take my 50 pounds lost pictures!  I couldn’t wake up and exercise this morning.  I don’t know what it is.  I wake up at 5 a.m. (30 minutes before my alarm).  Then I fall back to sleep right before I need to wake up and can’t get up at 5:30 to exercise.  I must admit that I didn’t try all that hard to get up this morning because it’s Tuesday.  Tuesday is when The Biggest Loser comes on television.  So I really like going on the treadmill while The Biggest Loser is on anyway.  So it’s all good.  And Ray is working tonight.  And I did The Biggest Loser workout last night, so today IS my treadmill day anyway.  I think I’ll jog again.  I did Sunday and it felt good.  Tomorrow morning I need to wake up and exercise though because I need to clean the house Wednesday.  I want to have it looking good for the weekend so I can enjoy the weekend and enjoy packing for vacation and such.  I’m happy to be at 176 though.

Vacation

I’m so excited to be going on vacation next week.  We were going to Arizona, but then Cathleen moved, and we didn’t have much money anyway.  So we’re going to be in Wendover from Sunday – Wednesday next week.  Buffets and Pizza Hut, here we come!  Then later in the week we’ll probably go to Topaz Mountain.  Eating out for lunch and dinner that day.  Just being home, enjoying ourselves will be a good vacation.  I’m pleased that I’m not worrying about my diet.  I plan to enjoy all that vacation has to offer.  If I gain 10 pounds – so be it.  More realistically, I’ll gain about 5 pounds.  But then my body will lose a lot after that too.  So I’m fine.  I’m going to try to keep up with other healthy habits, like drinking plenty of water, and getting my exercise.  Even if I do let my calories slide.  I can’t wait!

 

Monday, May 17, 2010 (Day 114)

Not sure what’s up.  Not sure why I don’t care.  I was attributing my lack of weight loss last week to my period and assumed that when it was gone I’d drop weight like a rock.  But it’s Monday.  No more period.  I’m still 178.  That’s what I was last Sunday.  I’m bummed about this.  I worked a ton last week!  I ran.  I did major Biggest Loser workout.  I did 1.5 hours of Gilad.  I was sore all week!  Yeah, yeah, maybe I gained muscle.  Whatever.  I took the kids to the movies Friday night.  Did good for the first half of the movie.  Ate my diet popcorn.  But then I didn’t do so good and ate Chris’s sour Skittles and Cayden’s M&M’s.  Yum!  Oh, and their fruit snacks!  Yum!  We had Chad and Angela over Saturday.  I ate a couple hot dogs.   I ate pancakes for breakfast.  Included with dinner was mac and cheese.  And garlic potatoes.  And washed it all down with a yummy brownie.  I don’t feel bad.  I fasted Sunday for Lonny and Amy.  So really my weekend should have evened out.  But I’m still at 178.  My body is fighting me!  I know I’m bloated though because my ring is tight.  I know I didn’t gain weight enough to make my ring tight.  So I’m not worrying about it.  Vacation is next week and I plan to enjoy it.  I wanted to take my 50 pounds lost pictures before vacation though!  We’ll see how this week goes.  Oh!  And I bbq-ed chicken Saturday.  I did awesome!  But along with the bbq chicken I grilled several breasts with just lemon pepper.  I sliced them up and put them in the freezer.  So I’m set with healthy chicken for salads, sandwiches, whatever.  I’m excited about that!  I’m bummed that I took my water bottle home last Friday and forgot to bring it back today.  I won’t get the amount of water I should today.  Hopefully I’ll remember tomorrow. 

Friday, May 14, 2010 (Day 111)

Can I just say that I am S – O – R – E !!!!!!!!!  I think this is the worst I’ve ever been.  Although I seem to remember saying that every other time I’ve been this sore.  So maybe it’s the same.  I jogged at the park Wednesday night.  Jogged.  At the park.   Not on the nice, soft, bouncy treadmill.  For an hour.  Then Thursday morning I did The Biggest Loser video.  And I didn’t just “do it”.  I DID IT!  I did it hard!  I did the squats low, the jumps high.  The movements big.  After sitting down for a minute, I swear, I get up and my legs nearly crumble out from under me.  I managed to walk on the treadmill this morning with weights in my hands, at my regular 3.8 mph (after a longer than usual warmup of about 10 minutes).  Going down the three steps to get off the train is really embarrassing!  I try not to be lame, but seriously, it KILLS!  I want to cry with each stair!  I can turn sideways at home and go down that way.  I can’t do that on the train.  And just to walk kills me.  I like to think I hate this feeling, but deep down, I love it because it means I worked my butt off.  And more, my thighs. 

 

We’re going to the movies tonight.  I’m taking a bottle of water.  I’m also taking my own popcorn.  My Smart Pop.  I’m so excited to eat treats at the movie and still be healthy!  I’m still on the rag, so the scale is still showing 178, even though I’ve killed it this week.  I’m just being patient to see what the scale has to show next week when the bloating is gone. 

Wednesday, May 12, 2010 (Day 109)

I’m a little frustrated this morning, but not too bad.  I didn’t wake up and exercise.  I guess I’ll do it this evening. I wanted to do The Biggest Loser but Ray’s off work tonight and will probably be watching television.  Too bad it’s raining outside (and supposed to be all day and night) or I’d take the kids to the park and walk/jog around the track.  Maybe I’ll get lucky and it won’t be raining.  Or maybe I’ll go by myself in the rain.  We’ll see.  Anyway, I’m frustrated because I weight 179.  As you know, I was 178 Sunday.  I’ve been good.  Now, the reason I’m not TOO frustrated is because I’m going to start bleeding today or tomorrow.  I’m bloated.  I feel like crap.  And I have cramps.  So I’m going to assume that once this passes, I’ll drop a few pounds right away.  Because I should be at about 177 today. 

Popcorn!!!

A woman from work that lost over 100 pounds a few years ago was eating popcorn a couple weeks ago.  She asked if I wanted some.  I said, “No thanks” dutifully and explained that I wished I could have some, but shouldn’t.  She said it was Smart Pop.  I still didn’t eat any because I figured, just because it’s not as bad as it could be, it can’t possibly be healthy – after all, it smelled amazing!  Well, when I was at the store over the weekend, I decided to check out the nutrition facts on it.  I was SHOCKED!  One full size microwave popcorn bag (10 cups of popcorn) has only 200 calorie for the butter kind, and 240 for the kettle corn kind!  In addition to that, it’s low in sodium AND has 12 grams of fiber in a bag!  AMAZING!  I bought a box of butter and a box of kettle corn, thinking they can’t taste good because they’re actually healthy.  Holy Hannah, was I wrong!  I didn’t miss anything while eating them!  It was just like regular butter popcorn and kettle corn!  I’m SO happy I found them!

Monday, May 10, 2010 (Day 107)

I weighed in yesterday morning at 178!  I was hoping to hit 180, and I broke that by a couple pounds!  I’m so excited.  In fact, I was so thrilled that I didn’t even go crazy on Mother’s Day like I was going to allow myself to.  I was planning to eat what I wanted and allow myself dessert.  I didn’t eat Yummy Potatoes (potatoes baked in sour cream, tons of sharp cheddar cheese, butter, topped with more cheese and Ritz crackers).  Instead I made me a plain potato with Velveeta cheese on it.   I didn’t feel deprived, it was yummy, but saved me TONS of calories and fat!  And for dessert, I had a single bite of chocolate pie and a single bite of Frozen Strawberry Dessert.  I was happy to have had a taste of both, but didn’t feel guilty about it one bit.  Then I hit the treadmill hard!  Not because I had to make up for eating, but because I was feeling so great.  I did my (new) regular pace of 3.7/3.8, except I did it at an incline of 4%.  I even did a 6% incline for a time.  And I did 4 mph for a time.  According to the treadmill I burned 500 calories.  But it didn’t know that I had weights in my hands for half the time, either.  J  I was sore after, but thankfully I can walk today.  Tomorrow might be a different story.  I couldn’t wake up on time this morning, so I’ll be doing The Biggest Loser workout tonight.  I weighed this morning at 179, but I’m sure I didn’t gain a pound.  I need to have a bowel movement that just doesn’t want to happen.  TMI, I know.  But I’m sure by tomorrow morning I’ll be back to 178 or 177.  Just a few more pounds to go and I get to take my 50 pounds lost pictures!!!  I can’t wait!!!  That’s my motivation this week!

Thursday, May 6, 2010 (Day 103)

181 this morning, baby!  I’m so excited this week to finally see the scale moving again!  We had a lunch meeting at work yesterday.  Paradise Bakery catered.  Several different kinds of sandwiches, fruit, chips, and a huge tray of sweet baked goods, including my all-time favorite, macadamia nut white chocolate chip cookies.  And yummy looking snicker doodles.  I knew they were bringing food the week before.  I looked at the website and found that none of their sandwiches are good calorie-wise as they are made.  So I brought my little round Ottowheat thing.  Took the turnkey and tomatoes off the bread they provided and put it on my own.  I didn’t take the lettuce because their sauce (mayo mixed with who knows what) was plastered between the bread and the lettuce.  Thankfully none of it was on the turkey or tomato.  So what was a 600 calorie sandwich turned into about 150.  Then I had my fill of fruit (grapes, cantalope, and honeydew).  They even had Baked Lays chips, but I didn’t even go for those!  I was good!  And, of course, stayed away from the desserts!  And instead of the free soda or juice, I stuck with my water.  I felt really good about it.  Although, there were leftovers and they were put in the kitchen.  Later in the afternoon I went to fill up my water bottle and was really tempted to grab another sandwich.  No, I wasn’t hungry.  They just looked and smelled really good.  But I didn’t.  I am proud!  And, this morning, my work this week has paid off with my 181!  Go me!

 

Donuts

Just got an email from the receptionist (sent to the whole office) saying there are donuts in the kitchen and help ourselves.  GOOD thing I’m motivated today!!!  I would have been all over it yesterday!  My water bottle is empty.  I was just about to go fill it up in the kitchen when the email was sent out.  I guess I’ll wait an hour just to be safe.  Why tempt fate, right?

 

Tuesday, May 4, 2010 (Day 101)

I feel really good today.  I limited my calories yesterday.  I walked on the treadmill for an hour last night.  Then I hula hooped for a little while.  Then I woke up and did The Biggest Loser workout this morning.  I’m motivated to eat well this morning.  I weighed in last night at 185 (down a pound from yesterday).  I weighed in this morning at 183.   Back to where I was Sunday morning.  So it took me a day to take off the weight I put on in a day.  Not bad.  Hopefully I’ll do really well this week.  I’m secretly hoping my body will think like it did the first week of my diet and drop 10 pounds.  That would be amazing, but I’m not counting on it.  Again, like last week, I’m hoping to be down to 180 by my next official Sunday weigh-in.  We’ll see.  I can’t stand how my motivation is directly proportionate with the stupid scale though.  Because it’s lower this morning I’m motivated.  Because it was higher yesterday I was ready to eat everything at the food court.  Arg!  I’m happy that I didn’t.  I feel good.  Hope it lasts now!  And the scale shows it!

 

Monday, May 3, 2010 (Day 100)

Day 100.  100 days.  Last week and this last weekend sucked.  What’s wrong?  Last week I was stressed over Cayden’s book report and my church presentation thing.  Fine.  I got on the scale yesterday morning at 183.  I got so disappointed that I hadn’t lost anything all week that I went psychotic.  Okay, not really psychotic.  But I ate anything and everything in sight, simply to serve my body right.  I guess that’s why.  I don’t know.  I can’t even start to list what I ate and how much of it.  Basically, from the moment I got home from church at noon, I ate.  Until I went to bed at midnight.  I promised I’d get back on track today.  It’s rough.  Because I didn’t go to sleep until so late, I couldn’t wake up and exercise.  I didn’t exercise all weekend.  I didn’t even mow the yard because it was raining.  I had the sulfur burps again this morning.  Why do I insist on eating a ton of peanuts?  I drank some Pepto.  Maybe that will help before the diarrhea sets in like last week.  Arg.  I’m so frustrated.  And because of the weekend I had, I’m pretty much wanting to go get Chinese for lunch.  “Screw it” I’m thinking.  Why not?  I weighed in this morning at 186.  Super, I gained 3 pounds yesterday.  Obviously I didn’t eat over 10,000 calories, so I know I didn’t REALLY gain that much.  But I’m probably back up to 185.  So basically the last 2 weeks have been useless.  I’m so disappointed and want to eat everything.  I want Taco Bell.  I want Burger King.  I want ANYTHING that will take the disappointment away.  But I know (deep down somewhere) that it will only increase the disappointment, not take it away.  But it will feel good for a few minutes!  Arg.  I hate this.  I just want to not have to think about this crap all the time.  I want to get back to where I was 3 weeks ago – losing weight with a vengeance and feeling great about myself!  I don’t know how to get that back when it’s all dependant on the scale.  And the scale doesn’t want to cooperate.  Maybe watching The Biggest Loser tomorrow night will help.  What am I supposed to do until then?  100 days.  That’s almost 1/3 of a year.  I can’t believe it’s been that long.  And yet, that’s really not that long at all.  3 months and 10 days.  How do I get back on track?  I guess all I can do is eat right today (gonna be really hard) and exercise when I get home.  Then wake up and exercise tomorrow morning.  Then maybe I’ll have my motivation to eat right tomorrow until The Biggest Loser.  Then maybe I’ll have the motivation for the rest of the week.  We’ll see!  I’ll try to take it one day at a time.   Today.  I’m going to do good today.  Forget about the last couple weeks.  I’m starting over today. 

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 (Day 94)

I feel better and worse today.  I was very frustrated yesterday because of my lack of weight loss showing on the scale.  I was feeling sick to my stomach and had sulfur burps.  Well, the sick to my stomach and burps turned into stomach cramps and severe diarrhea.  I woke up every 45 minutes all night long.  On a good note, I’m down to 183.  I have been drinking a ton of water to keep from getting dehydrated.  But I’m pretty sure I’m not far from having everything cleared out of my colon.  I’m certainly no longer bloated.  So, I feel better because the scale is looking good.  I feel worse because physically I feel worse.  I wanted to avoid eating protein yesterday, so I ate white rice and a little gravy for dinner.  It was within my calories and it actually really hit the spot.  I did over an hour of Gilad last night.  And I managed to wake up and do the treadmill this morning.  I did it only because I promised Cayden I would so I won’t have to do it when I get home from work tonight.  I feel good that it’s over with.  I only got 45 minutes of actual walking in though because about 20 minutes was spent in the bathroom during my workout (about 4 separate times).  I’m okay with 45 minutes though.  With how I’m feeling, my body’s lucky I gave it any exercise.  The Doctors television show said last week that if you have diarrhea, your body is obviously trying to get rid of something and you shouldn’t take anti-diarrhea medicine, you should just let it all come out.  Well, I did that all last night.  This morning, however, I have to get some work done.  I drank some Pepto Bismol.  Still trying to keep a lot of water in me.  Tomorrow morning I’m going to do The Biggest Loser workout again.  I got another compliment this morning.  Someone at work asked me how much I’ve lost.  I told her 42 pounds.  She said that when I walked by she “was like ‘WOAH!’” because my neck area, you can really tell.  Yah!  No more triple chin! 

 

Monday, April 26, 2010 (Day 93)

I’m feeling very sick and awful this morning.  I did good on my diet all weekend.  I had Slim Fast for breakfast and lunch Sunday.  I had some peas Sunday afternoon to hold me off until dinner.  Then I had 4 oz of chicken in low sodium and low fat cream of mushroom soup, with a little bit of noodles with soup on top.  Well, later that evening, I was bored.  Bored and unsatisfied.  I wanted gummy bears.  We didn’t have any.  I wanted chocolate.  We didn’t have any.  Ray had been eating peanuts earlier in the day and they were sitting there in the living room.  I went over to have a couple.  I ended up eating them for about 30 minutes (they were in the shells).  I probably had 2 cups (with shells on) total (a serving is ½ cup).  I was sick of peanuts, but I still wasn’t satisfied.  I went into the pantry and found vanilla cream sandwich cookies.  So I ate a ton of those (probably 15).  Still wasn’t satisfied.  So I ate Tootsie Rolls (about 10 of the small ones).  I was sick to my stomach last night.  Not only that, but after eating all that crap, I couldn’t get myself to exercise.  Then I went to bed late (like I do every Sunday night) and I didn’t get up this morning.  I’m still feeling really nauseated.  And I have sulfur burps (which we learned comes from eating a ton of protein).  I feel so yucky and sluggish and like I want to puke.  And bloated.  That will teach me.  Okay, no it won’t.  I’m still not satisfied.  I don’t know what I need.  I think it all boils back down to the stupid scale not showing what I wanted it to all last week.  Although it was at 184 yesterday morning.  This morning it’s at 185.  I’ll get back on track and eat well and exercise this week and see where it’s at this coming Sunday.  If it’s not down to 180, I’m going to have a FIT!  Then I’m going to eat a Big Mac.  That’s what I was REALLY craving yesterday.  A nice juicy hamburger.  I sort of punished myself Saturday because I didn’t exercise on Friday.  So Saturday, I spent 3 hours working in the yard (weedeating and mowing).  Then I came inside and cleaned.  Then I spent 85 minutes on the treadmill.  I went 5 miles.  So I basically spent 5 hours working out Saturday.  Maybe that’s why my body wanted food yesterday.  But it didn’t want food.  It wanted junk.  Although the peanuts were SO good!  But man am I sick!  I don’t know why I can’t eat in moderation!  Let’s hope my week goes better than yesterday!  It’s going to be hard to exercise this week because Ray is off work every day except Friday.  It’s hard because I stay awake later at night so I can’t wake up and exercise in the morning, and I can’t exercise at night because he doesn’t like to hear it.  Maybe I’ll have to go walking outside or something and forget about the treadmill this week.  Hm.  That’s not a bad idea!  Now if I could only get rid of these sulfur burps!  Yuck!

 

Sodium

I just looked up the nutritional information for the lasagna I ate Wednesday.  Of course I looked at the calories before I ate it.  But I didn’t look at the sodium.  Remember I wanted to attribute my lack of weight loss this week to the sodium in the lasagna, even though I was totally assuming.  I didn’t really believe it.  Well, according to the nutritional information, one serving has 32% daily recommended sodium.  I had 4 servings.  That’s 120% of my daily sodium in just dinner alone.  Yeah, I’d say that’s why the scale is standing still.  Plus I had burritos last night.  I know they’re high in sodium too.  Looks like I won’t show any numbers this week, but then next week is going to be killer when all this water retention from the sodium is gone!

And

With the knowledge that the scale hasn’t moved this week, I’m finding it difficult to be motivated.  I found myself thinking about going to Burger King for breakfast this morning.  I find myself now thinking about Chinese food for lunch.  Yum!  And I’ve been thinking about pizza or Café Rio for dinner.  Why does the scale determine my motivation so profoundly?  It’s annoying.  Even with my sane thoughts that I posted previously, I still can’t think rationally most the time.  I’m doing good though.  I didn’t go to BK for breakfast.  I’m not running out to get Chinese for lunch.  And I’m going to try not to get Café Rio for dinner.  I recognize (when I think really hard about it) that I can’t let the numbers on a scale determine if I’m going to blow my whole week.  Then the numbers on the scale would be real.  Real, and worse. 

 

Friday, April 23, 2010 (Day 90)

I thought I’d be around 180 today.  Not so.  I weighed in at 185.  You’ll remember that’s what I was last Sunday.   You’ll also remember that on Tuesday I was down to 184.  It’s Friday and I’m back up to 185.  I would feel awful about this if I had eaten treats or not exercised.  But I’ve done everything right this week.  I didn’t have a single treat out of everything I made for the office party.  The ONLY thing I’ve done “wrong” this week is that on Wednesday I went back for seconds on dinner (lasagna).  That put me at 1600 calories for the day, instead of under 1200.  That’s not nearly bad enough to keep my from losing weight and certainly not bad enough to make me gain weight.  So I’m assuming that it had a lot of sodium in it and I’m retaining water.  I also haven’t had a good bowel movement all week.  So I’m a little frustrated with the scale, but at the same time, it’s not bothering me too much.  And I should also mention that this week has been STRESSFUL!  Besides the responsibility of the office party, my washing machine went out Wednesday night.  Then we found out yesterday when they replaced the washer that our plumbing lines in the house need to be cleaned out or we will soon wake up to a sewage filled downstairs.  And the first plumbers we had give an estimate want over $1300.  I have a couple more companies coming tomorrow for estimates.  I don’t need this!  I guess the good thing is that the washer went out and we learned of this problem before we had a sewage filled house.  Thank Heaven for small (and big) favors!  I just want the scale to show my hard work.  And I’m weaning off my depression medication this week.  Great week all around!  Boo!    

 

Medication

I’m currently taking 3 medications, and have been for a few years.  First is birth control.  Fine with that.  Second is the anti-depressant Celexa.  I’ve been on 40 mg for years.  Third is a diabetes medication, Metformin.  I was planning to stop taking Metformin because I can pretty much guarantee with my diet and exercising (not to mention the weightloss) that my blood sugar and insulin levels are perfect.  But I forgot and had it refilled this last weekend.  So I guess I’ll take it another month.  I’ve been wanting to get off the Celexa for a while.  I’ve tried a couple times, but I couldn’t do it.  I think I’m at a place now that I can.  I’ve been on it and gone off before (when Cayden was a baby).  I know what I’m doing.  I know what to watch for.  I’m careful.  So the last couple days I’ve been cutting my Celexa and just taking half – 20 mg.  Heck, even if I just take 20 mg per day that would make me happy.  But my goal is to be completely off.  Why take medication if you don’t have to.  Right?  Granted, if I start cutting myself again, well, then medication isn’t all that bad in comparison.  So far so good (mentality wise).  But I feel sort of sick at my stomach all the time (really slightly).  A little agitated.  I know there is major withdrawal from anti-depressants, that’s why I’m doing half.  From here I’ll start taking half every other day.  And then finally stop altogether.  I’ll keep you informed as to how that goes.  I’m going to be taking half for about 2 weeks though.  You gotta taper really slowly with this stuff.  Then I’ll just be on birth control.  Wahoo!  That will be so awesome.  Oh, and vitamins.  J

Wednesday, April 21, 2010 (Day 88)

This has been a really long week!  Not diet-wise.  Just in general.  My office has a monthly birthday party.  I’m in charge of it for April.  Rather than go to Costco and buy a chocolate cake and a veggie tray, I decided I wanted to bring homemade treats.  I did still get the veggie tray so that those being healthy will have something to enjoy.  But I have spent all my spare time since this weekend either thinking about, shopping for, or preparing these treats.  I bought everything Saturday.  I’ve been making things as soon as possible and still have them taste good.  Too much of it couldn’t be made further in advance than last night.  The night before I did 2 batches of cupcakes.  Crumbled the cookies, etc, etc.  Basically I’m saying I haven’t gotten any sleep all week.  I’m tired.  I’m TiReD. I’m TIRED!  I stayed up late Sunday night so I couldn’t wake up and exercise Monday.  I did The Biggest Loser workout Monday night.  I stayed up so late Monday night that I couldn’t wake up Tuesday and exercise.  I was too busy cooking last night (from 7:00 p.m. when I got home to 2 a.m.) that I didn’t exercise.  That means I had to skip Tuesday.  Because I was awake until 2:00 this morning, I couldn’t wake up on time.  I did manage to wake up and get exercising by 6:30.  So I exercised for 35 minutes this morning.  I feel like I’m going to collapse from exhaustion and now I’m really hungry.  I managed to cook a buttload of treats this week (especially last night) and didn’t eat any of them.  I didn’t eat the brownies, the cupcakes, the rice krispies, the strawberry dessert, the apple dip.  ANYTHING.  I did have half a gummy worm.  But it was midnight and I was hungry and I wasn’t feeling good.  Oh, I’ll talk about that in a separate post.

Monday, April 19, 2010 (Day 86)

Weighed in yesterday at 185!  Exactly 40 pounds down!  Remember how I started walking at 3 mph and that was a little fast for me?  Then I moved up to 3.2.  Then 3.5.  I remember being really excited about walking at 3.5 and not getting too winded and my shins not hurting.  Well, this past weekend I was feeling good and moved it up to 3.8.  No shin problems at all!  My left knee was a little sore before I even started walking, so I put my little brace thing on (just the inch wide band that goes under the kneecap) and it didn’t hurt the full hour!  So I did that pace twice this weekend (for an hour each).  I didn’t eat quite the calories I should have yesterday because I had a Slim-Fast for breakfast on the way to church.  Then I got home from church at noon and fell asleep on the couch without eating lunch.  I woke up at nearly 5:00 in the evening and made dinner.  I stuck with my regular dinner calories.  I’m going to clean out my closet sometime this week.  Take all the clothes that are too big (that I was wearing last month!) to D.I.  Usually I keep my bigger clothes, but like I said last week – I am NOT going back to being fat.  As I get smaller and smaller, I’ll continue to give clothes away.  That way if I start to outgrow my smaller clothes I’ll know right away and I’ll be forced to diet and not just put on the bigger size clothes.  We all know that I hate shopping and I’d rather diet then shop for bigger clothes!  J  I’m looking forward to the next 10 pounds coming off!

Goals

So, I was just reading older posts and revisited the goals I set at the beginning of this journey.  My daily goal was to exercise for an hour most days of the week.  Check.  Have been AWESOME with my exercising!  My monthly goal was to lose 8 pounds per month.  Check.  I’ve done that and more!  The kicker is that my semi-annual goal was to lose 50 pounds by my 31^st birthday.  That’s August 6^th.  I’m 12 pounds away from that goal and I have well over 3 more months to reach it!  If I continue with the rate I’ve been going, I’ll be 10 pounds from my ULTIMATE GOAL by my 31^st birthday!!!  I’ve been on this journey for nearly 3 months.  I have over 3 months until my birthday.  I can TOTALLY be 135 by my birthday!!!  I shouldn’t make that my goal.  That’s losing too fast.  Let’s figure this out.  112 days before my birthday.  16 weeks.  52 pounds to lose.  That would mean I need to lose 3.5 – 4 pounds per week.  Sure, that’s what I’m doing anyway.  But, really I want to keep my goal at the “healthy” rate of 1-2 pounds per week.  In all honesty I’d be upset if I only lost 1 pound per week.  Even 2 pounds gets me a little down.  But that’s what they say you should lose for as a healthy rate.  Any more can hurt your body or something, and there’s more risk of putting the weight back on.  Well, I’m not putting it back on.  And I’m eating enough – it’s not like I’m going anorexic this time.  But I still hate to set that goal and then feel really disappointed if I don’t make it – when in reality, if I lose 2 pounds per week I’ll still be down 32 pounds more, so a total of 70 pounds!  That will put me at 155.  I’LL TAKE IT!!!  I’m not going to make anything my goal for now.  I’m just going to keep on keepin’ on and let my body do what it’s going to do.  I have been very successful in not hitting a plateau.  I’ve tried to vary my food and my exercise.  I amp up my exercise a couple times each week.  I let myself eat freely once a week.  I must be doing something right, because 40 pounds and 3 months in, I should have hit a plateau.  I’m not complaining.  Let’s hope I keep it up!  

 

More Compliments

I must wear baggy clothes most the time or something.  Well, I know I wear skirts with expando waists that fit me 40 pounds ago.  Maybe that’s it.  But in today’s outfit (which even the skirt is a little loose around the waist), I’ve had 5 separate people pull me aside and tell me how great I look and how much weight I’ve lost.  Of course I know I look thinner and I know I’ve lost a lot of weight.  But it’s AWESOME to have people tell me, just the same!  One woman, I’d seen her looking me up and down on a few occasions.  Finally this afternoon she said, “No offense, I don’t know what you’re doing, but you look AMAZING!”  Yeah, I take offense to that!  J  I realize I have a long way to go, but I’m getting there!  Wahoo!

 

40 Down in 3 Months

I’m very excited about this!  I’ve lost 40 pounds in 3 months.  And I fit into this cute outfit!

 

Thursday, April 15, 2010 (Day 82)

I’m down 38 pounds folks!  I’m sore as can be too.  Seriously, I can hardly walk.  I must look like I peed my pants when I walk, it is that bad – even when I try to walk normal.  Going from sitting to standing or standing to sitting is even worse!  Thank you Biggest Loser workout!  I didn’t wake up and exercise this morning, but I feel okay about it because I have a lot of television shows coming on tonight, so I’ll just hang on the treadmill while I watch them.  No biggy!  38 pounds down!!!  Holla!!!!

 

Wednesday, April 14, 2010 (Day 81)

I feel great again this morning!  I walked on the treadmill for an hour last night.  I felt I could do more (run, or walk longer), but Ray was home and he was getting annoyed trying to watch t.v. with the treadmill going.  I was planning to just sleep in and then exercise tonight ‘cause Ray’ll be at work.  But when I got in bed I decided to set my alarm early and if I felt like getting up, I would.  I did.  Not only that, but I felt like doing a hard workout.  So I put in my Biggest Loser Cardio Max.   An hour of butt kicking from Bob, Jillian, and the stupid blonde that was only on for one season.  She’s annoying.  But I love the video.  I can’t believe I did it!  It was tough though!  So I feel great.  I weighed in this morning at 188.  I’m eating my oatmeal (trying to give my body a little change from Slim-Fast this morning).  I’m taking the kids to the park this evening for a picnic dinner.  Good day, good day!

 

Popcorn!?!?!?!?!

Apparently someone cooked some microwave popcorn at work.  Extra buttery, I can smell!  Where did my motivation and resolve go?  No, I’m not running in to get some or anything like that.  But MAN it smells good!  And MAN I’d love to have some nice, buttery, greasy, popcorn. 

 

Motivated to Keep It Off

I wanted to make a special post with my feelings of today because I’m SO motivated to keep the weight off this time!  It’s cliché and every contestant on The Biggest Loser says it.  But now that I’m down to 189, I will NEVER be at 200 pounds again!  NEVER!  As often as I’ve lost weight before, I’ve never had this resolve.  I’ve never thought it necessary.  I never realized that I can put it on just as fast as I take it off.  Once I lose this weight, I’m going to continue drinking Slim-Fast.  My plan is to drink Slim-Fast like I do now, but not worry when we have a family gathering or other party.  I can eat what I want sometimes.  I can go out to lunch with friends and enjoy a good meal.  But on every day that isn’t special, it’s Slim-Fast for me.  I plan to keep a close watch and if I go up more than 5 pounds, it’s back to a strict diet again for a couple weeks until it’s off.  That way I’ll never be put in a situation where I realize I’ve let my weight get out of control.  I’m so excited that this will work for me!  And at this point I’ve lost enough that I can do things I want.  I can fit in clothes I want.  I’m not struggling with motivation anymore.  I’m not fighting myself when I want to eat something particular anymore.  I know I can have my cake and eat it too SOMETIMES and still keep on track.  During this diet I’ve let myself eat things, but I have NEVER fallen off the exercise wagon.  Except the week I was really sick at the beginning.  Otherwise I’ve exercised an hour every single day, minus about 3 or 4 days, which isn’t bad at all in 80 days!  In 10 days (that will be 3 months into my diet) I’d love to be at 180.  That will be 45 pounds lost in 3 months!  I will then be at half way.  And the second half is just icing on the cake, as far as I’m concerned!  I can wipe my butt now.  I can tie my shoes now.  I can see my feet now.  I am out of the plus size clothing now.  I’m happy where I am.  Sure, I’m going to keep going, but I’m not on the urgent pace I’ve been at.  Do I want to keep losing at the same pace?  Sure!  But I won’t beat myself up.  And at some point I’m going to be 135.  And when I am, that’s where I’ll stay!  I can’t wait!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010 (Day 80)

 I feel so good today!  I didn’t wake up and exercise.  But I decided to step on the scale and see the damage that was done on Sunday.  I weighed myself yesterday at 192.  I didn’t worry about it too much because I knew I’d lose it and I knew some of it was “water” weight.  I hoped to be at 191 or 190 this morning.  I’m at 189!  So I’m where I was Sunday morning before I pigged out!  And I’m wearing a skirt and shirt that really show how thin I am.  Of course, I say “thin” based on what I was not too long ago, not thin, thin.  Although I think I look thin, thin!  I feel so good!  I also had a good bowel movement today (after I weighed) and I might even be at 187.  I hope to be at 185 by this coming Sunday’s weigh-in.  Wow, I just had to go change my numbers ont his post because I kept putting myself in the 190’s.  NO!  I AM IN THE 180’S!!!  Tonight is The Biggest Loser.  I love that show.  It’s highly motivating.  And it’s really easy to work out on the treadmill while I watch it!  So that’s my plan for tonight. 

 

Monday, April 12, 2010 (Day 79)

Today is my mom’s birthday!  I got on the scale yesterday morning and I’m down to 189!  I LOVE IT!  I am so excited about it!  The jeans I haven’t been able to wear for a LONG time are not getting loose.  I don’t have any smaller jeans – I threw them away a LONG time ago when I decided I’d never be able to wear them again.  Guess I get to go buy more in a week or two.  My Aunt Sue said yesterday at my mom’s birthday party, “Marcy, you’ve lost a lot of weight!”  I simply said, “Yep.  It’s not fun.”  I didn’t know what to say.  Then she said, “It’s noticeable.”  Awesome!  I love being to the point where everyone can tell I’m thinner.  It means I’m REALLY making a lot of progress.  Heck, I’ve made 36 pounds of progress!  I knew that we were having my mom’s party yesterday, and I knew the food we were eating for dinner and I knew I wanted it.  So I did 2 hours of Gilad.  That’s like burning 1000 calories.  I’m not exaggerating!  I didn’t feel bad about eating what I wanted AT ALL!  I had tri tip.  I had a lot of cauliflower salad.  I had noodle with cheese and ham salad.  I had green salad with nuts and craisins.  I was actually proud of eating well at dinner (minus the cauliflower salad that has a bunch of mayo in it.  And bacon.  I still felt good.  I didn’t eat a baked potato slathered in butter.  I didn’t eat any of Shirley’s rolls, slathered in butter.  But then, after games and presents and stuff, we went up for dessert.  I wasn’t planning to eat any.  But there was taco dip and chips left up there.  Yum!  So I ate more of that.  Then I sat down to talk to my uncle and there were plates of kids’ cake that they hadn’t eaten.  So I ate what was left (minus the frosting – I don’t even like frosting).  And I had strawberry shortcake.  Then I had 2 of Shirley’s rolls with butter.  J  Then when we got home I was craving more cauliflower salad – so I ate some.  Again, I feel completely fine about it.  I did good all week.  I ate like that and worse for 2 days last week and still lost a couple pounds.  And I did 2 hours of Gilad.  I woke up this morning and did an hour on my treadmill.  I’m back to my Slim-Fasts.  I’m happy that I’m not beating myself up over yesterday.  And I had an enjoyable time!

Friday, April 9, 2010 (Day 76)

This is my motivation for today.  I’ve been sort of bummed this week because I did so bad Sunday and Monday, and because I’ve been so busy and stressed.  I have a few projects that I need to get done and I don’t know how I’m going to do it.  I’ve managed to exercise every day (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday), but I just feel like there’s so much I’m not getting done (ie, cleaning the house, getting enough sleep, etc.).  I weighed in this morning and I’m back down to 191 (where I was Sunday before Easter and Monday).  So I’m happy about that.  Maybe I can lose another pound or two before I weigh in again Sunday.  Although my mom’s birthday party is Sunday.  I plan to eat right and skip dessert.  But who knows.  I was so bummed out this morning (ie, stressed) I almost ate a pan of cinnamon rolls.  I didn’t have any though.  Sigh.  Did I mention that when I went to Crown Burger on Wednesday I DIDN’T EAT ONE???  I drank my Slim-Fast.  Proud of that, for sure!

 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010 (Day 73)

I weighed 191 Sunday morning.  That was before my Easter breakfast of sausage, bacon and eggs.  That was before the Easter candy.  That was before Easter dinner.  That was before Easter dessert.  Then came Monday.  I didn’t dare weigh myself.  Monday brought Shelly’s grandma’s funeral.  Funeral luncheon of ham, funeral potatoes, salad with regular dressing, and cake.  Monday night was a BBQ with our home teacher and his family, and Chad and Angela.  Including dessert.  Then more Easter candy just to end the day off.  I should also mention that I didn’t exercise Sunday or Monday because I spent my spare time cleaning and cooking in preparation for our BBQ.  Today has gone well except my body thinks it’s supposed to eat a ton every 2 hours now.  I have to retrain it away from that.  I stayed up too late last night and couldn’t wake up to exercise, so it’ll be the treadmill for me this evening.  I’m glad The Biggest Loser is on tonight because I REALLY need the motivation to get back on track.  However, Shelly called me this morning to see if we can meet for lunch tomorrow at Crown Burger.  If you’re not familiar with Crown Burger, let me explain.  A humongous burger piled several inches taller with pastrami.  And their fries and onion rings are to die for with their fry sauce.  How do I go there and not get that?  I read online that they have salads.  I don’t know if it would have light dressing or not.  I’m going to do my best tomorrow, but after the weekend I’ve had, I don’t know if I have the strength.  After all, as far as my brain is concerned, the week is screwed already.  I don’t know.  We’ll see.  I don’t feel thin.  I feel fat and bloated and nasty.  I know I didn’t gain 30 pounds in 3 days, but I feel like I did.  I’ll tell you one thing though – I felt SO sick Sunday night.  My body completely revolted against all the crap I put in it (and the amount) on Easter.  I really needed to throw up all night long.  But I just laid there trying my hardest to keep it all in.  I should have just let myself throw up so I would feel better, but I HATE throwing up and just couldn’t do it.  Fortunately I felt better Monday morning.  I’m worried though that I ate crap Monday and felt okay after.  I didn’t want my body getting used to eating junk!  I’m going to stay away from the kids’ Easter baskets tonight!  I will!  I will!  I will!  I hope. 

Friday, April 2, 2010 (Day 69)

I went Easter candy shopping after work last night.  I spent about 30 minutes in the Easter candy aisle at Walmart.  Dangerous for someone trying to lose weight.  The things that REALLY called to me were the peanut butter/chocolate mixes.  YUM!  And the gummies.  Love them both!  I can do without plain chocolate and without nasty peeps.  But I love Reese’s and fruit snacks/gummy bears.  I didn’t buy anything for me.  I was proud.  I hadn’t eaten anything since my Slim-Fast 6 hours prior.  I hadn’t exercised that morning, so I knew I had to get on my treadmill.  I never eat before working out.  Yuck.  When I slack in the morning I come home from work, make the kids dinner, work out on the treadmill for an hour and then make my own dinner.  Well, I made the kids pizza pockets (two slices of bread, pizza sauce, cheese, and pepperoni, put together like a sandwich and toasted in the sandwich press thing.  I was ravenous hungry.  I was going to buy beef jerky at the checkout at Walmart to hold me off until dinner but they were out on my aisle.  I ate a few pepperonis while making their pockets.  Then I decided I was starving and could have a piece of bread.  So I smeared some sauce and pepperoni on a slice of bread and ate it.  More like devoured it.  Then the kids didn’t eat all of their pockets.  Heaven forbid it should go to waste when I’m starving to death.  I’ll just have a bite, I told myself.  One bite turned into a whole sandwich.  Then another half.  I felt awful about it when I was done.  I had caved.  It’s been a while since I caved.  When I got to thinking about it, I actually didn’t go over my calories.  Not that it was healthy, but it wasn’t over my calories.  And it made exercising REALLY hard.  My stomach didn’t like me on the treadmill.  I had to really work at going my normal pace last night.  Ug.  Now I remember why I don’t eat dinner before getting on the treadmill.  And, if you’re wondering, I did NOT buy the kids peanut butter/chocolate stuff.  I knew I couldn’t bear THAT temptation this weekend! 

Wednesday, March 31, 2010 (Day 67)

I feel AWESOME today!  I enjoyed a personal pizza last night and stayed well within my calories.  I got on the treadmill, did my 5 minute warmup at 3 mph.  I stretched and got back on at my usual 3.5 mph.  About 10 minutes in I was feeling really good and decided I’d try jogging for a few minutes.  I was able to jog at 4 mph for 5 minutes.  I decided that I would jog for 5 minutes out of each 15 minutes (4 times total during the hour).  So I jogged a total of 20 minutes.  Walked at 3.5 the rest of the time.  It was really great.  I still hate jogging.  It still sort of puts pain in my knees (mostly my left one), but it’s good to know I can do it and still breathe.  Cayden and I stayed up ‘til midnight last night doing his book report, so there was no way I was waking up at 5 to exercise this morning.  So I have to do another evening workout tonight.  I hate it.  But I feel good that I’ve been doing it even when I have to skip the morning workout.  I had weight control oatmeal this morning instead of my Slim-Fast because it is snowing like crazy this morning and I’m freezing!  I got on the scale this morning.  I know, it’s become an awful daily habit.  I was reading my first posts on here yesterday and remembered that I said I would only weigh in once every four weeks.  Yeah, so much for that!  I just can’t do it.  I can’t even go a week.  Anyway, I’m down to 192.  That’s ahead of this week’s schedule, so I might allow myself a candy or two on Easter.  We’ll see.  Right now I’m feeling so good and I’m so motivated that I don’t even want a candy.  I can smell the 180’s and I’m LOVING it!  Next is 170’s!  And 160’s!  Dare I dream?

 

Tuesday, March 30, 2010 (Day 66)

The kids have been wanting pizza.  I’ve been NOT wanting pizza.  Actually, I should say that I’ve been wanting pizza so bad that I haven’t let it anywhere near our house, or us by it.  We have a can of biscuits in the fridge that I need to use somehow.  We have all the makings for mini pizzas, except pepperoni.  So I broke down yesterday and told the kids that we would make mini pizzas today when I get home from work.  Ray bought pepperoni and we’re set.  The kids are SO excited.  I, however, am sort of dreading it.  I figured up the calories and I can eat a mini pizza if I limit it to just a few pepperoni and don’t overdo it on the cheese.  Awesome!  I don’t have to eat something separate from the rest of the family.  But pizza to me has the effect of potato chips according to the commercial – I can’t eat just one.  I’m motivated though.  My other problem is that I hate waste.  The can of biscuits has 8 biscuits in it.  Me and the kids each eat one and that leaves 5 left.  I can’t throw them away!  It just occurred to me that I can bake them like pizza crust and freeze them!  That’ll work!  Great thinking me!  I wish we had veggie toppings I could put on my pizza.  I already ate all my green peppers and onions.  Maybe some mushrooms.  Oh, I have some green chilies left over.  That would be good.  I’m starting to not hate this pizza idea.  I’m glad I have been thinking about it and not just rush right into it and eat a dozen of them.  J

Monday, March 29, 2010 (Day 65)

I’m down to 194.  I was told by another co-worker today that I “look slim” in this outfit.  It would have been good if she hadn’t have said just in this outfit.  J  But whatever.  The only reason I can wear this outfit is because I’m losing weight.  So it’s all good.  I feel good.  I ate a lot yesterday for dinner.  And I ate 2 of my Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches.  But I don’t care.  Have no idea how many calories were in dinner.  Don’t care.  It was good.  I was hungry.  I did an hour and a half of Gilad on Saturday.  I think it’s good that I told my body last night that I’m not starving.  Easter is this coming weekend.  Don’t know how I’ll do with that.  We’re having a bbq at mom and dad’s and an Easter egg hunt.  Oh the candy!!!  I hope I can resist, but I LOVE Easter candy.  Especially peanut butter filled chocolate.  Yum!  I’m not going to let it worry me though.  And if I want a piece of candy, so be it.  I’m not going to stress about it.  I feel so great today.  And the fact that I lost 4 pounds last week means that even if I don’t lose any this week, I’ll still be on track.  But, I do plan to lose this week.  And I do plan to be strong this weekend.  I’m just saying I’m not going to stress about it.

Thursday, March 25, 2010 (Day 61)

I’m feeling pretty good today.  I got home last night and REALLY didn’t want to exercise.  I hate exercising when I get home from work.  I have worked all day, I don’t want to work more.  I want to lay on the couch and watch television, not exercise on the treadmill!  But, I did anyway.  My shoulder has been really hurting me.  Back when I was in one of my car accidents (I’m pretty sure it was the second one – on the freeway), I got frozen shoulder.  What happens is your shoulder starts to hurt.  It gets more and more painful and then it gets stiff.  The pain and stiffness continue to increase until eventually they’re so bad you can’t move your arm.  This freaked me out the first time.  When it hurt, I stopped moving it.  I iced it and rested it.  Well, that’s what led to not being able to move it.  Literally.  I rushed to the afterhours care and learned about the whole frozen shoulder thing.  When you feel pain you’re supposed to do stretches and therapy and keep in moving.  So I’m trying to do that, but it isn’t getting better.  Sometimes it’s worse, but it isn’t so bad I can’t move it yet.  So after the treadmill last night, I sat with the ice pack on my shoulder.  I also took a couple ibuprophen to help the pain and inflammation.  Don’t know why I started talking about frozen shoulder.  I did Gilad this morning.  He kills me.  This is an older video though, from the 80’s, so he isn’t as insane.  Actually, I think it’s because I did the cardio workout and not the toning.  I will try toning tomorrow.  The workouts are 45 minutes each.  So I did the warmup and then the cardio, then “rewound” to the beginning of the cardio and did 15 minutes of it over, then cool down.  So I got a full hour in.  I’ve really been wanting to go to Subway, but why would I eat a 300 calorie 6-inch sub for lunch when I’m just as full after a 200 calorie Slim-Fast?  Subway for dinner is good because I can eat a whole foot-long for 600 calories – and that’s how many calories I allow myself for dinner.  Tonight is going to be chicken marinara though.  Boneless, skinless chicken breast breaded in egg white and seasoned bread crumbs, baked, and topped with spaghetti sauce and mozzarella cheese.  Not too unhealthy, but not super low in calories too, so I need to drink my shake for lunch.  I do love Slim-Fasts though. On a side note, I’m wearing a skirt today that I haven’t fit into before.  It is beautiful and I love it!