Day 4 of my journey and I started feeling the enormity of it last night. I was sitting on the bus, eating my carrots and still starving to death, thinking about the daunting task ahead of me. I guess that’s why they say to make smaller, short-term goals. I tried to get my mind of the 90 pound number and instead tried to think about the smaller numbers. Even 50 pounds by August was daunting. So I started thinking of 2 pounds per week. That helped a little. I figure I’m going to lose a lot more than 2 pounds this first week. At least 5. That will leave me with only 85 pounds to lose. Only. I didn’t have time to good a good healthy dinner last night because I had visiting teachers after work. I ended up making the kids mac and cheese. I tried eating a can of soup, but the extra mac (even though I only made 1 box) was too hard to resist! I stood at the stove and ate everything that was left in the pan (I’m guessing about a serving and a half – a good 800 calories). Whatever. Sure I feel guilty. Sure I said I wasn’t going to worry if I slip. But I lied. Actually, I’m sort of being okay on myself. I figure it’s probably good that I ate it so my body is surprised again and doesn’t think I’m starving. I’ve probably been cutting back a little bit too far. Yesterday is gone.
Now, on a happier note, I realize that my “fat ring” is getting a little loose and twisting on my finger. I can’t remember how much I weighed when I outgrew my wedding ring and had to buy this stupid 9 dollar ring. I am excited to get to the point where I can put my real wedding ring on again! That is going to be so wonderful finally! I about lost the fight with the scale again this morning. Perhaps I should put it up at the top of the closet or something so I don’t see it every morning. I was inches away from standing on it when I convinced myself not to. I just have to hold off until Sunday. Then it’s 4 weeks until the next weigh-in. That’s tough! But I know it’s the right thing to do! Heaven help me!
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