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The purpose of this blog is solely for me. The entries are nothing but my ramblings. I do no proofreading, no editing, no filtering. 100% honest thoughts. Will this help me lose weight? I don't know. We'll see. "They" say to keep a weight-loss journal. I've never done it in the past, and that didn't really work. So now I'm going to try it. I'm not sure who needs more luck, me, or anyone who comes across this blog and actually reads it!

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Monday, February 1, 2010

Food Addiction

I worked with a woman about 5 years ago that mentioned food addiction. I thought at the time it was sort of funny and that they have a name for everything now. She had once weighed hundreds of pounds and lost hundreds and was a good weight. She worked hard to keep it that way. The more I think about food this week, the more I wanted to find out about the idea of food addiction. Turns out it is a true disease. It consists of the same brain chemistry and same emotions as any other addiction. The only difference is that the “drug” of choice is food. I emailed this friend that I worked with and she sent me back an awesome email that I really appreciated. I am going to look into the church sponsored program for addiction. And I’m picking up some books from her this afternoon. I’m excited to learn more and hopefully get over this!

Lani's Email:
I think there are a lot of things out there that are beneficial. I'm sure you could find a ton of stuff online or at the book store. Through all the years that I've been dealing with it, I have come to one conclusion. When I eat the food, I'm attempting to fill an empty space in my soul. Same thing with when I spend money. Same thing with anybody and any type of addictive behavior. You must view your food issues as a true addiction....just like alcoholism. And once an addict, always an addict. There is no way to get over it....but it can be managed, and you can live with it.
Years ago I participated in numerous meetings of Overeaters Anonymous....which is based on the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's a 12-step program, and the basis of the program is turning your life over to a higher power (as you choose to define it. I choose to define it as Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ). About 5 years ago, the church began a substance abuse recovery program patterned after the 12-steps of AA, but instead of referencing a "Higher Power", it is stated to be Jesus Christ. The church sponsored groups are considered a "mission" of the church. They hold meetings every day of the week, somewhere in the Salt Lake Valley, (and I would assume somewhere in Utah County as well. The program was initiated in the SL Valley to see how successful it would be, but I know it is now utilized in many places. Each meeting is presided over by a set of LDS missionaries who have been called specifically to serve as substance abuse missionaries. Most of them are recovering addicts themselves, or have family members who are in the throes of addiction of some type; most of them are husband/wife teams....usually one spouse is the recovering addict, and the other is the one who "stands by their side." They also use the Book of Mormon as a study guide. They also use another book called "He did release me from bondage." (I don't remember the author).
Anyway....having participated in Overeaters Anonymous and the church sponsored 12-step meetings, I can tell you that I prefer the church sponsored ones, if only that there is a slightly different spirit there, and because they acknowledge Jesus Christ as the "higher power" and teach concepts from the Book of Mormon. But any 12-step program patterned after the one used by AA is great. I think everyone needs to participate in one from time to time. It's like the most personal, accepting, supportive testimony meeting you could ever go to. The church program is open to anyone who wants to attend....not just members. They are there to help addicts of all types....sexual, drug, food (over-eating, anorexia, bulimia), gambling, alcohol, co-dependents, shopaholics, etc., etc., etc. It's all the same disease, just with a different "drug" of choice. And it is truly a disease from which you are never healed. You can recover....and you can live in a state of recovery for extended periods of time. But there are times of relapse as well....for everyone.
I personally believe that food addictions are the hardest to deal with. If you are addicted to alcohol....you just remove alcohol from the house....you stay away from bars, etc, etc. If you are addicted to nicotine....you stay away from cigarettes. If it's porn....you avoid it like a plague. But food is the one thing you cannot live without. You would never think to tell an alcoholic, go ahead....have a sip of alcohol three times a day. But those of us who are addicted to food must somehow come to terms with letting the "beast" out of the cage three times a day, and then putting it back into the cage so it can't kill us. We can't go "cold turkey" from food. We can't eliminate it from our life. It's not easy. I'm in a relapsing stage right now. I have been for about 18 months. I'm always one step away from a binge. I eat to celebrate something wonderful....I eat when I am sad...when I am tired....when I am stressed...when I am mad....when Amanda pushes my buttons. I truly hate food! Yep....I'm an addict.
And after all the meetings I've been to, and all that I've read, I know that when my relationship with HF is not on track, then my addictions are out of control. I have a hole in my heart that cannot be filled....not by food...not by shopping....not by any external thing. The only one who can save me is JC. The 12-steps take you through the process of healing and recovery.
It's long....It's hard. But you have to fix what is wrong in you heart and your head and your spirit, to truly get over it.
Talk with you Bishop if you want to participate in the church sponsored groups and he can give you a listing of when and where all the meetings are....or you can find Overeaters Anonymous in the phone book.
I know this sounds drastic....and you may be in denial, and say...."Well, I'm not that bad." But if you think you have an addiction problem...then you probably do...and the good news is that acknowledging it is the hardest part....and it is the part that sets you on the road to recovery. Truly, truly.
I love you, and as a food addict myself....my heart aches for the suffering and misery you are experiencing. I know it can get better. I know it can get worse. It's up to you....it's up to me. Our savior is truly JC.....in so many more ways than you have ever imagined.

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