The Biggest Loser

My mom called me Friday to let me know The Biggest Loser was having auditions in Salt Lake.  I don’t know why I was offended so much – after all, she’s been bugging me about my weight since as long as I can remember.  I called my sister and told her not to answer the phone if mom calls her.  Yes, I know I’m fat.  No, I’m not 300 pounds – which is what you have to weigh (if you’re a girl) to be on The Biggest Loser.  If I were 300 pounds I wouldn’t have been offended, I would have tried out.  And no, I have nothing in life to do – sure I could take a few months to go to a ranch and do nothing but exercise!  I don’t have kids, a job, a husband, or anything else needing taking care of.