Wednesday, March 17, 2010 (Day 53)

I’m having a really hard time this week.  It started because, as I mentioned, I ate chips and salsa Sunday and whatever else I ate.  I have realized this time that sodium (aka salt and highly processed foods) is a mean, mean, mean thing if you like to go by numbers on the scale.  I did some research yesterday to see how long it stays in your system.  It could be 3 to 5 days.  I weighed 200 pounds Sunday.  I weighed 204 Monday.   Obviously I didn’t eat 4 pounds worth of calories over the weekend.  1 pound tops.  I’ve been weighing every morning and I’m finally back down to 202 this morning, but dang it!  It’s messing with my phsychi.  How do you spell phsychi?  Anyway, I know it’s water weight that’s being held by my blood cells because of the sodium.  I know this.  And yet, I feel I should starve myself for a couple days to make it go away.  Actually, this week I’ve been wanting to just give up on losing weight all together.  As we speak I’m missing a meeting that I’m supposed to be at. Why?  Because they’re serving pizza.  I do NOT have the discipline this week to sit in that meeting, smell pizza for an hour, watch others eat pizza for an hour, and not eat an entire pizza myself.  In fact, just seeing the pizza hut commercial for 30 seconds makes me about run out and buy one!  I’ve been tempted to eat junk all week because I feel the scale hates me and isn’t showing my work anyway, why bother.  I know the sodium will leave eventually and I’ll be at my regular weight.  What will that be?  Will it be 200 still?  Will it be under 200?  It sure as hell better be under 200 or I quit!  I’m hoping for good things this coming Sunday weigh-in.  I better be 198!  But we’ll see.  In the meantime, I’m going to hope and pray there’s no leftover pizza that finds its way to the breakroom when I go refill my water.